Love Displayed Among God’s Children

A sermon preached from 1 John 3:16–18 by Ben Bokwa

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Opening Prayer

Our great God and Father in heaven, we reaffirm the truths we have just sung. The extent of your love, expressed to us and culminated at the cross, is far more than words can describe. We are awed and grateful that that is our God — that you are our God. And Lord, as we look to your Word right now, we pray that you would illuminate our minds, that we would be able to perceive and see the glorious truths in your Word. We pray this in Christ’s name. Amen.

Introduction: The Writings of John

It is good Bible-study practice to consider the immediate context of the passage we are in, and we will do that. But first I want us to consider the general writings of John the Apostle, because apart from the three epistles — 1, 2, and 3 John — he is also credited with writing the Gospel according to John. This is not hard to see: the thematic emphases, the doctrine he espouses, the choice of words, and the emphasis on love, among other things, are all quite evident.

But unlike the other three gospels — Matthew, Mark, and Luke, which we call the synoptic gospels — the Apostle John does not focus on a chronological account of Jesus Christ’s life. Instead, his focus is to display the deity of Christ: to show us that Christ really is God. The Gospel of John in this sense is a theological treatise, a doctrinal exposé in which we encounter the doctrine of Christ. Theologians call this Christology. The object of this encounter is that we and the world at large would believe in Jesus Christ — that we would believe he is indeed fully God and fully man, the Lamb of God, our Lord and Savior. We can call this orthodoxy: correct belief, sound theology, sound doctrine.

Let us look at some verses in John to illustrate this.

John 1:1, 4 — In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God… Life was in him, and that life was the light of men.

John 1:29 — The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Here is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!”

John 3:16 — For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

John 10:28–30 — I give them eternal life, and they will never perish — ever. No one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. The Father and I are one.

John 20:31 — But these are written so that you may believe Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

That is what we mean by orthodoxy — correct belief, correct doctrine — and that is the emphasis we see throughout the Gospel of John.

Turning to the epistles of John, we see that he continues to teach doctrine as well. Part of his reason for doing so was to encourage believers and to refute false teaching. A prime example was Gnosticism and Docetism — two heresies those of you who have been at Kitwe Church for a few months will have heard mentioned. Essentially, these teachings deny salvation by faith in Christ alone. They teach that only the spirit is good and that the body, the flesh, the material world, is bad — that the spirit is trapped within the body. They elevate the idea of a secret, mystic knowledge that leads to God and procures salvation.

According to these heresies, which were beginning to permeate the early church — the church to which John is writing in 1, 2, and 3 John — Jesus Christ is not God. Rather, he is a divine messenger, a spiritual guide sent from a higher spiritual realm to impart secret knowledge (gnosis), which frees humanity from the flawed physical world.

And so John labored head-on against this, with doctrine as the tip of the spear. But what we will see tonight is that he did not stop at doctrine. He addressed what we call orthopraxy — correct practice, correct living that flows from correct doctrine. And that is what we find in our text tonight.

The Text: 1 John 3:1–18

For the sake of context, I will read from verse 1 all the way to verse 18, even though our focus is verses 16 to 18.

Look at how great a love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children. And we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it didn’t know him. Dear friends, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet been revealed. We know that when he appears, we will be like him because we will see him as he is.

Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself just as he is pure. Everyone who commits sin also breaks the law; sin is the breaking of the law. You know that he was revealed so that he might take away sins, and there is no sin in him. Everyone who remains in him does not sin. Everyone who sins has not seen him or known him.

Little children, let no one deceive you. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. The one who commits sin is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. The Son of God was revealed for this very purpose: to destroy the devil’s works.

Everyone who has been born of God does not sin, because his seed remains in him. He is not able to sin because he has been born of God. This is how God’s children and the devil’s children are made evident. Whoever does not do what is right is not of God, especially the one who does not love his brother.

For this is the message you have heard from the beginning: we should love one another. Unlike Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother’s were righteous. Do not be surprised, brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

This is how we have come to know love: he laid down his life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has this world’s goods and sees his brother in need but shuts off his compassion from him, how can God’s love reside in him? Little children, we must not love in word or speech, but in deed and truth.

Two Camps, No Middle Ground

The opening of chapter three is quite unequivocal. The world in which we walk and live has two camps — not three, not four, but two. There is God’s camp with God’s children, and there is the devil’s camp with those who follow after him in their actions. On one side, we have the Author of creation, the Alpha and Omega, the triune God, who is described as the truth, as the righteous one. On the other side, we have the devil, Satan, the serpent, the father of all lies.

And though they are opposed, let us not deceive ourselves into thinking they are in some way equal — as if the level of enmity and opposition between them is balanced. It is not. The God of the Bible is in no way equal to the devil. They share no category. They are not equal in power. That is what we see in our focus text tonight.

Verse 16a: The Love of God Revealed

Who is this God, and how has he revealed himself? He is far above. He is set apart — even in his possession and demonstration of love. His love is revealed in the very act of salvation. He initiated, he pursued, he sought us out. And then he gave the highest prize possible: his only Son, hung on that tree for your sin and for mine. In this way, God the Father sets the precedent. He sets the record straight for all of history: the ultimate test for love is laying down your life for another. Nothing else. That is the ultimate test of love.

And so in this text, John beckons us — he beckons you and me. He says: look at Christ’s love for us. Particularly you who say you are a Christian — look at the way God demonstrated that love, to the point of death. Some have called this kind of love agape. If you have been at Kitwe Church for more than five seconds, you will have heard that word. What is agape love? It is the highest, most selfless form of love. It is unconditional. It is sacrificial and focused entirely on the well-being of others without receiving anything in return.

That last part is where we tend to miss it: without receiving anything in return. This is the gospel, brothers and sisters. All of us here — born sinners who then proceeded to live sinful lives, disobeying God, separated from God, without a loving relationship with God, and therefore ultimately headed for the deserved destination of eternal separation in hell — were purchased at a high price. That is the gospel. That is love. It is radical love, unquestionable and evident.

Verse 16b: Therefore, We Also

And that is why John moves on so quickly. After saying what he said, after demonstrating how God showed his love for us — “he laid down his life for us” — what does he go on to say? “We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.”

A question lingers here: how do we love a God who needs nothing? Nothing. Your good works mean something, but he does not need them. He needs nothing. In all our other relationships — with our boss, our spouse, our children — there is a tangible need. How do you love a God like that?

Well, we love him, we make much of him, we adore him, we worship him, and we obey him. But most importantly, John is telling us tonight: we love his children. We love those whom he has saved, just as he saved us.

John tells us that God’s children — Christians, believers, the redeemed, the remnant as Pastor Simon reminded us this morning — bear distinguishing marks. The evidence of this identity and standing is brotherly love. It is impossible for me to look into your heart and see how much you love God. We see it by the fruit. Believers, children of God, are defined and identifiable through their love for one another. This love is modeled after the love God has shown us in Christ. Christ is the true and only standard.

God’s love to us is illustrated by Christ’s death on the cross — the ultimate sacrifice. So the answer is to love God and to love his children the way God loved us. How did God love us? By literally dying. We do not live in a context, praise be to God, where we are commonly called to die for each other. But John shows us that we can love as Christ loved through a less lethal, less bloody, less permanent manner. It is possible.

A Bible commentator said this about the passage:

“Jesus Christ alone laid down his one and only life for us all. We ought to lay down our lives several times for the lives of the brethren — if not actually dying, at least virtually, by giving our time, our care, our labor, our prayers, and our substance.”

That is what John refers to in verse 17 when he speaks of compassion. This is the kind of sacrificial love to which we are called.

Sometimes it feels easier to say you will die for Christ. It feels easier to say that. But then living for Christ’s children, where the going gets genuinely tough, reveals a different reality. Our love should be so genuine and so sacrificial that our earthly possessions are gladly expendable as we love our brothers and sisters in Christ. But is that what defines us, brothers and sisters? Is that what defines you tonight? This kind of love — sacrificial, willing to give of your time, your possessions, your comfort for the sake of others?

An Honest Reckoning

If we are honest, most of God’s children are effective at punching for the other side. Remember, there are only two camps — no middle ground, no neutral spot. What often characterizes our relating to one another is not what should characterize the side we say we stand on. It is not what describes the children of God. We claim Christ through our mouths — “I love you, brother” — but that is easy to say. It is not expensive. You can say it and even make it sound sincere. It costs nothing.

We claim Christ through our mouths, and when duty calls to live it out, we often turn into double agents with some smart-sounding excuses. We all have history tonight — with one believer or another. It may be someone outside this congregation, a believer you have encountered elsewhere in your life. It may be someone in this congregation. We all have history, and you know what I mean by that.

We have sinned against one another. And unfortunately, the more we replay those memories, the harder it becomes to love. As my wife often reminds me: try to think of the good, not just the bad. The more you remember those hurts — and they were real; you are not living in a dream, it did hurt — the harder it is to love that person.

We are jealous of one another, and so we fail to pray for one another. How can a heart full of envy find time to pray? We are preoccupied with building our own kingdoms and reputations, so that offering assistance to someone else who I imagine is also building their own reputation feels like handing my enemy my battle strategy. We hate to be inconvenienced by other people’s needs because we have given enough already elsewhere. We prefer to stay in our comfort zones instead of building friendships with those with whom we share the same Father.

How are you doing? How am I doing tonight? Ask yourself that honestly. It is obvious that all of us here have, at certain points in our lives, done a loving act. Looking at the faces here, I see testimonies. We received God’s love through this congregation not so long ago as a family, and so many others have experienced that with this congregation as well. You may be sitting there wondering why I am talking about love being absent. That is not the question. The question is: is that what defines you? Is that what predominantly characterizes you? A broken clock is right twice a day.

John wrote to first-century believers in these terms because they — like us — struggled to love one another this way. But if we are honest: is it easy to love one another in these terms? That is an actual question. Unconditionally. Sacrificially. Regardless of what was said and how I interpret it. “I love you regardless of our history. I love you in Christ, and I will show it through actual, tangible ways.”

It is not easy love, brothers and sisters. It is hard. In fact, you can say it is an impossible love. Left to ourselves, it is an impossible love. Left to my willpower, to your willpower, to your personal discipline — it is an impossible love.

The Only Sufficient Source: Christ

But the blessed reminder that John shines through this text is that we were never meant to do this by ourselves. Never. The love we experienced from the Father who drew us in is in Christ. In his death, we found God’s love. And so it is only through Christ that we can love one another this way. What was God’s love to us? God’s love through Christ. What will keep us in? God’s love through Christ. What will enable us to keep loving one another — long before death is even an option — is God’s love through Christ. Nothing else.

And if we are doing life together as we should as a body of believers — actually spending time together, seeing each other — you will pick up on it, you can see. Every ministry here has had its hiccups. All of them. That is simply the reality of it. Left to ourselves, it is impossible.

Christ provides the supernatural strength and grace needed to be right, and therefore to produce actions that flow from that righteousness. Only Christ produces that. And so by relying on him, believers receive the enablement of the Holy Spirit to overcome personal limitations, conquer temptations, and accomplish what is impossible left to their own willpower alone.

Spurgeon said: “It is all of Christ.”

He who began a good work in you will perfect it.

Your safety, therefore, does not depend on your ability to cling hard to the cross of Christ. It depends on Christ, who has already clung to you. It does not depend on your ability to follow all the commandments diligently. It depends on the one who has already followed them all perfectly, holding on to you.

Philippians 2:13 — For it is God who works in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out his good purpose.

And therefore, brothers and sisters, when our gaze is fixed on Christ, when our hearts are overcome by him, we can love one another this way. We can. It is possible. We can give of our time, our money, our comfort, our possessions, ourselves — for one another. When our priority is Christ, the world will know us as God’s children. It will be evident. Dying for one another will not be impossible — let us pray it never becomes the option, but if it came to that, it would not be impossible. And long before death is an option, living for one another, giving for one another, will be a reality. We will not just love in words or speech, but in action. We will care for one another genuinely and authentically. We will love without lip service.

What does John say in 1 John 3:18?

Little children, we must not love in word or speech, but in deed and truth.

I am guilty of this. You are guilty of this. All of us are. We came with that certificate at birth — the capacity to love by lip service alone. But if our focus is Christ, we will not fail. Because his power working in us is what enables us to love this way.

Applications

1.  Because Christ has set the precedent, let us emulate him and make it a point to lay down our lives for one another. Christ has shown us the path, and Christ enables us to walk in obedience. Let that be our aspiration.

2.  Pray for one another. We introduced the church directory earlier this year or last year — it is a very helpful tool. It is hard to remember everyone’s name or face from memory, but that is a good resource. Slip it in your Bible if you have not already done so, and pray through all the names. It is hard to both pray for someone and be jealous of them. It is hard to both pray for someone and harbour bitterness toward them. Pray for one another.

3.  Confess to one another. “Brother, sister, I have harboured this against you.” Confession keeps us humble, and it provides personal accountability. That is the essence of living in community — we actually know each other.

4.  Guard your devotion time diligently. Not encountering God guarantees a misconstrued view of Christ. You will not see Christ clearly, and therefore you will fail at all of these things. Guard your devotion time.

Conclusion

Let me return to the definition of agape love: a Greek word frequently translated as “love,” representing the highest, most selfless form of love — unconditional, sacrificial, and focused entirely on the well-being of others without expecting anything in return.

Brothers and sisters, with God’s help, may this be the kind of congregation we aspire to be and are increasingly becoming: a congregation defined by love for one another, a congregation overcome by the goodness of God at the cross, such that we can do nothing but live out that thankfulness by loving God’s children. Otherwise, we are confused double agents.

Closing Prayer

Our great God and Father, the strength to obey you, the prompting to love your Word and love your people, is not something we can manufacture or fake. It is not something we can muster up by ourselves. It is only through you. And so, God, as we see these truths — truths that are most noble and glorious, that you loved us in Christ and that you want us to love you by loving those for whom you died, like us — help us grow in this. We pray this in Christ’s name. Amen.