Family Discipleship and the Issue of Authority

A Sermon Based on Romans 13

Take your Bibles, please, and turn to Romans chapter 13. I have a lot of thoughts that I want to share with you as we move along, but I also hope that it’ll be an interactive time this evening as well. I want us to consider this discussion from the scriptures, and I’ve titled this “Family Discipleship and the Issue of Authority.”

Those of you who are parents, what if I told you that the most influential person in your child’s life and for their spiritual development is not their pastor, or their Sunday school teacher, or their school teacher, but it is you? Today I’d like for us to discover why God has strategically positioned parents as the primary disciples of their children and as the primary disciples in their home.

But before we dive into this and read our passage, I would just like to set a context for us for this discussion by asking some questions. Let me ask you this question—and look, you don’t have to be a parent to answer this, all right? This isn’t just for parents, as you’ll see as we move forward—but do we as parents have the right to tell our children what to do?

Okay, yes, no—but then the question is why or why not? If you say yes, why? If you say no, why not? Those of you who are nodding your head, why? Why do they have the right to tell their children what to do?

[Congregation responses: God commands children to obey. God has given us responsibility to raise our offspring, and yes, to raise godly offspring. Children are not wise. In fact, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Because we are called to do the best for them.]

Good, good. Let me ask you another question, and you might say, “What is that supposed to be?” But it may be more difficult than what you think. What is a parent? What is a parent?

[Congregation responses: Someone who guides the young ones.]

Think from even your biblical Christian perspective. What is a parent? Is a parent someone who just biologically fosters an offspring? So what’s a parent? I told you, it sounds simple, doesn’t it? But everyone’s looking at me like, “Eh.”

I wrote my own answers to these. What is a parent? God’s agent in the life of a child. God’s agent in the life of a child.

So then, what is the task of parenting? What’s involved in the task of parenting? And there could be a lot of different nuances to this one, so there’s not like any one thing. There’s a lot of them.

[Congregation responses: Teaching. Nurturing. Providing. Discipline. Showing them the right path, setting the right example.]

Great. The task of parenting is that while we are with our children, we are continually training them, guiding them, and shepherding them. And what I’d like to argue tonight from scripture is that this is primarily a discipleship task. It’s a discipleship task.

Now, one last question. What is authority? What is authority? It’s a simple question, but it’s not simple, is it?

[Congregation responses: Power to do something. A mandate. The right to exercise power.]

So what then would be authority in the home? Authority is the right to rule. The right to rule or the right to be in charge. In its simplest form, that’s authority. The power to represent and enforce the law. That is authority.

Now, we live in a day that rejects authority. We don’t want anybody to tell us what to do. I mean, if you don’t believe that to be true, sit at the robots next to Mukuba Mall when the light is red and see how many cars go around you and through the red light.

Or, I remember this from some time back. A couple years ago, I should have taken a photo. The Kitwe City Council had put a sign—the sign was old, but it said “No dumping by order of the Kitwe City Council.” And it was as though that sign was a call for the entire community to dump because it was literally a garbage mound.

We live in a day that rejects authority, but I want us tonight to think about authority in the context of the family and how that impacts discipleship.

Now there are two pitfalls that will affect your ability to disciple your family for Christ when it comes to authority. Listen, because this is very, very important. Number one: if you’re insecure in your authority, or you’re an authoritarian in your authority.

Two ditches. You’re insecure in your authority, or we’re authoritarian in our authority. If we’re insecure, our child will become their own authority, doing what is right in their own eyes. If we are an authoritarian, our child will either become a legalist or a rebel. A legalist—they’re gonna capitulate and they’re gonna try to obey everything in order to please and get favors from the person in authority, in this case, their parent.

So here’s my premise for tonight: Authority in the home is the foundation for effective discipleship. That’s my premise. Authority, biblical authority exercised in the home is the foundation for effective discipleship. If you’re unsure of your God-given authority, your children will suffer greatly. They will never learn the absolutes and the principles of God’s word.

Listen to Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land which your God is giving you.” So there’s the precept, the command, with a promise, right? This is repeated in the New Testament by Paul the Apostle.

Listen to Proverbs 30:17: “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” Ravens are picking out eyeballs, and vultures are eating a body. What happened to that person? They died, right? And they weren’t buried.

Now, that’s very graphic, picturesque language, isn’t it? But it’s the idea of soldiers going out into battle, and the soldiers get killed, and the vultures come in and start eating the dead bodies. And he’s saying, a child that mocks his father, rebels against the authority of his father, and scorns to obey their mother—the idea is they are going to come to an end that is not favorable. It’s graphic.

All right, turn to Romans 13. I hope you have your Bible. I want you to see this, all right? Because I’m going to comment as I read, and then we’re going to try to build a couple of ideas as we move along.

“Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities.” So who does this apply to? Whatever is coming, who does it apply to? The citizens. How many of them? It’s everyone. So whatever’s coming is all-inclusive, all right?

“For there is no authority except from God.” So where does any legitimate authority come from? This is really important. Every legitimate authority comes from God, “and those which exist have been instituted by God.”

So the institutions that wield the authority under which we are to submit ourselves were instituted by God. “Therefore, whoever resists the authorities resists what has been appointed by God.” Resists the authority that God appointed. And if you resist God’s authority that He appointed, look at your text—what’s gonna happen? “And those who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.”

Judgment. Now, we just saw judgment back in Proverbs, right? The vultures are gonna eat their flesh and the ravens are gonna pick out their eyeballs. I mean, that’s graphic. But that’s the idea, right?

So here’s the quiz. All authority comes from God. God established it. So if you resist the God-established authority, you’re resisting who? God. And if you resist God by resisting his authority, what’s going to happen? Couldn’t that be why so many people have so many sufferings and problems in our world? Right there.

I had a text this morning from someone: “Pastor, I just don’t understand. I’m praying and fasting, but I’m just suffering too much. Does God really bless?” I need to have a long conversation with you to be able to answer that question. But one of my questions is: are you submitting to all God-given authorities in your life?

That’s a good question for all of us here tonight. Are you right now, to the best of your understanding and ability, submitting to all God-given authorities in your life? Because to fail to do so brings what? The judgment of God.

You say, “Why are you belaboring this?” You’ll see it in a moment. We’re talking about family discipleship.

Verse 3: “For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing, for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil.”

Why does God place authorities in our life? These are God’s servants that God has placed in our lives for our good.

Now drop down to verse eight. It’s all in the same context. “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, ‘You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,’ and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

The authority is God’s representative to do what? Reward the one who obeys and judge the one who disobeys. Are you seeing this?

Lesson 1: Parents Are God’s Appointed Authorities

Here’s the first lesson we learn. Parents are God’s appointed authorities. There are other authorities that God has appointed, but for our discussion tonight, parents are God’s appointed authorities.

Therefore, number one: your authority comes because you act on whose behalf? God’s. Not “I’m the father, I’m the husband. I have authority and you better do what I say because do you know how great I am?” Wait a minute. Your authority comes because you act on behalf of God. We just saw that, didn’t we?

You do not exercise your rule, but God’s. You are called as a parent to act on behalf of God. Husband, you are called by God to act on behalf of God. Wives, when your husband acts, he is acting on behalf of God.

I’m not going to do a sidetrack, but if you don’t believe it, read Ephesians chapter 5. “Submit to your husbands in everything as unto Christ.” Do you see it? Because His delegated authority in his role as a father and a husband was delegated to him by God.

So when you resist, and you mumble, and you push back, and you get your tongue flopping, you are resisting who? “Ah, that man, useless husband. Troublesome. You know if he would do this or do that, then I could respect him. And if I could respect him, then I could do what he says.”

Listen, you God resister. You wonder why you’re always under judgment. You wonder why your life goes from one problem to another problem, to another problem, to another disaster, to another problem. It’s what the text says.

Hebrews 13:17: “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account.”

So listen, parents, you shape your child’s life not in a way that pleases you, but in a way that pleases God. That is family discipleship.

So your authority comes because you act on behalf of God.

Lesson 2: Your Authority Is a Call of God Upon Your Life

Second lesson that we learn: Your authority is a call of God upon your life. And now let me speak to moms and dads, parents, in the home—whether you’ve got grandchildren that you’re keeping or you’re an aunt and an uncle, but you’ve got within your household—your authority is a call of God upon your life.

Genesis 18:19, speaking of Abraham: “For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.”

Deuteronomy 6:2: “So that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.”

You see, God chose you to parent your children. God chose you, therefore, to be the primary disciple-maker in the life of your child. That’s the second thing that we learn from this.

Lesson 3: Your Authority Is a Command of God

Number three, here’s the third lesson we learn. Your authority is a command of God. It’s not only a call of God, it’s a command of God upon your life.

Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

So if you’re God’s agent in the task of training and instructing your children in the Lord, then you too as a parent are under authority. Because who is telling you to do this? God. Do you see that?

So when I turn to my child, and I instruct them and I exercise God’s authority in their life, it is because I am also submitting to God’s authority in my life. So as I disciple my child, or correct my child, or discipline my child, I’m not doing it for my sake. I’m not doing it because I’m frustrated, or I’m aggravated and upset, or I’m embarrassed by their actions.

I am doing it because I am under the authority of God, and He commanded me to train and discipline and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So I’m expecting my child to be under my authority, but I also recognize I am also under authority.

Your authority is a command of God upon your life. So both you and your child are in the same boat. Both are under authority. You’re both under God’s authority.

Parent, if you refuse to discipline and nurture and train your child in the things of God—if you refuse that, you are stepping out from under God’s authority. Did you see the point being made here?

Authority Enables Obedience-Based Discipleship

Now that we understand our God-given authority, how do we exercise it? Here’s the second big idea. Authority enables obedience-based discipleship.

Proverbs 6:23: “For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; and reproofs for discipline are the way of life.”

So authority enables Bible-based discipleship. This call to obedience gives you as a parent the right to act. You are requiring obedience of your child because God says you must require obedience of your child. And if you don’t require obedience of your child, you are disobeying God’s authority.

Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, bring up your children in the training and admonition of the Lord.” So when you call your child to obey, you’re not acting on your own will, you’re acting on behalf of God. It’s a perspective shift, isn’t it?

The call to obedience gives you the right to act, but number two, the call to obedience gives you the mandate to act. In other words, parent, you have no choice. It is your duty.

You know what I see in our modern culture? Parents taking the role of an advisor. They’ve got a little child, four years old, two years old—we’re talking about young children—and the parent is: “What would you like for breakfast? Oh, you don’t want the porridge that I prepared for you? Would you like something else?”

I mean, we had one of our little girls when she was little. And if my wife went into the closet on a Sunday morning and pulled out a nice pink dress for church, this particular child would be: “Ah, I don’t want that one, I want the other one.”

She’d take her into the ladies’ room, a public ladies’ room, and there’s all the stalls. And so she would take this particular child towards a stall: “Ah, no, mommy, I don’t wanna go in that one, I wanna go in that one.”

What does a two-year-old—what’s going on there? “I will not be under your authority. If you want the pink dress, I want the blue one. If you want to feed me porridge, I want pancakes.” And here are two identical toilets. “But if you want me to go in that one, uh-uh, I’m going in this one.” And she’s two.

That’s a true life story. We really thought with that one: “Lord, this one is either going to get a hold of her and she’s going to turn the world upside down or she’s going to be a terrorist. There won’t be anything in the middle.”

You know, parents give their children choice on what they want to wear, how they want to spend their free time, how to schedule their time, whether or not they’ll go to church. Someone told me about a five-year-old: “Oh no, you see, he didn’t want to come.” And I just have to bite my tongue. “A five-year-old didn’t want to come, so he’s not coming to church today.”

By the time the child is six or eight or 10, he’s his own boss. And by the time he’s 13, he’s out of control. And parents can plead and threaten and scream in anger and frustration, but that child, by the time he hits his teen years, he’s his own boss and nobody’s gonna tell him what to do.

You see, when we let children make decisions they’re not ready for, we’re not teaching them decision-making. I had a parent say: “No, I just want to teach my child how to make wise and appropriate decisions.” And so I talked to them about consequences.

“We talk a lot about consequences.” I never talked to my two-year-old about consequences. I just took them and showed them what consequences look like. You can’t have a rational discussion with a two-year-old or a three-year-old. “Obey. Obey.” That’s it, period.

You see, when we let children make decisions they’re not ready for, we’re not teaching them decision-making, we’re teaching them to be their own god. And discipleship requires learning to submit to God’s wisdom through parental authority first.

By teaching our young ones to submit to the voice of their earthly father and enforcing that submission through appropriate means, we are setting them up so that when they get older, they will hear the voice of their Heavenly Father in the Scriptures and obey Him. Why? Because if you rebel against the authority that God has placed, it will bring upon that child what? Judgment!

I don’t want my children to be under the divine wrath of God! I don’t want my children to go to hell! So I want to teach them to be under God’s authority, and the way I do that is to teach them to be under my authority.

Authority Serves Heart-Focused Discipleship

This brings us to a third thing. Authority serves heart-focused discipleship.

Deuteronomy chapter six, verses six and seven says this: “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise.”

Listen, parenting is more than just providing care, shelter, food, clothes, and schooling. If we disciple the character of our children, if we disciple our children to know God and to fear God, it really doesn’t matter how great of an education they get.

Don’t buy into the world’s philosophy. You know what the world says? “Education is everything. Sacrifice whatever the sacrifice, sacrifice everything on the altar of education so that your children can be successful.”

I got news for you. Character is what creates success, not facts in their brains. Big mistake. It’s being made everywhere.

So, parenting is shepherding your child’s heart on behalf of God. In other words, parents, you’re not just looking for outward conformity to your authority. You’re looking at heart submission to that authority.

I learned this probably when I was a kid. I probably got this from my mom. I don’t know where I got this: Obedience is doing what you should do, when you should do it, how you should do it, with the right heart attitude towards the authority asking you to do it. Do you hear that? The right heart attitude towards the authority.

In other words, my little children might do what I said, they might do it when I said it, and they might do how I said it. But if they did it with a bad attitude, they had to go to my room. And they know what that meant. Why?

Because you can do what you’re supposed to do, when you’re supposed to do it, how you’re supposed to do it, but if you don’t do it with the right heart attitude and submission to the authorities that God’s placed in your life, it is not biblical obedience.

Have you ever seen that? I mean, they’re going to their room like you told them to. And they go in, they slam the door. “Kabam!” Okay, they did what you told them. They went to their room. But are they under authority?

And you say, “Isn’t he cute? Oh, these little boys. Boys will be boys.” It might be cute. You might think it’s cute at two, but you won’t think it’s cute when he’s 16 and he brings home a pregnant girlfriend. You won’t think it’s cute then. Or doesn’t come home on a Friday night and you don’t know where he is because he’s out getting drunk with his buddies. It won’t be cute then.

You see, discipleship is the process of helping someone know, love, and follow Jesus. So as parents, we’re not just trying to raise good kids, we are raising worshipers of Jesus. Worshipers. That’s what discipleship is about.

“I don’t want him to be a good boy. I don’t want him to be a good boy. I want him to be a good man. I want her to become a good woman who loves and serves and worships Jesus.”

So therefore, biblical parenting requires clear objectives.

Correction Points the Child to the Gospel

You see, correction points the child to the gospel. When we discipline, we show our children that they need a savior, not just better behavior. Correction points them to the gospel.

And therefore we as parents serve in that capacity as gospel messengers. We have regular opportunities to share with our children of all ages Christ’s forgiveness. We forgive them and we point them to Christ’s forgiveness.

You see, the goal isn’t just external compliance, but heart transformation. So here’s the question—are you shepherding your children’s hearts towards God, or are you just managing behavior? Do you hear what I said? Are you shepherding your children’s hearts towards God, or are you just managing behavior?

As disciple makers, we are to be shepherding their hearts towards God.

Let me give you some evaluation questions, things you can ask yourself:

• Do you know the strengths and weaknesses of your children?
• Do you have short-term and long-term goals for them?
• What methods or approaches are you going to use to focus on attitudes of the heart rather than only behavior?

Maybe this is a question for us as parents: How much of your correction occurs as a byproduct of children being an embarrassment or an irritation to you? How much of your correction flows from the fact they’re embarrassing you in public or they’re just irritating you? And they do both, by the way.

So authority serves heart-focused discipleship. Biblical parenting requires clear objectives.

Biblical Parenting Demands Humility

Number two, it demands humility. We understand that we function as God’s agent. When we understand that, we will remain focused and humble. In other words, we correct our child by God’s command.

So you as a parent stand before your child as God’s agent to show him his sin. The ultimate obedience and compliance to the authority of God is to love, right? Isn’t that what He says? “The law is summed up in this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'”

But little children don’t know how to love their neighbor, do they? And so you put in place appropriate rules:

• “No, you will not hit your sister.”
• “No, you will not take what doesn’t belong to you. That belongs to someone else.”
• “No, you will not run through the church like a wild man because you’re running into people like Sister Jean, who’s very frail, and you might injure her. That’s not loving. So you will not do that.”

The whole list of laws, rules—and what does their little sinful heart do? As soon as you go around the corner, they run through the church. And they plow right into an elderly person. And you’re embarrassed. And you’re really irritated.

But what am I after? I’m after something bigger than that. I want to point them back to Christ. I’m saying, “That was an unloving thing that you did, and you disobeyed your God-given authority. And this is going to be the result of that. Because I want to press on you. And the next time, I want you to remember and I want you to think again about what I’ve said.”

Is it loving for your child to talk back to an adult? Is that loving? Of course not. “Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” And so I put these laws in place in my home to teach my children what the love of God looks like.

Now when you do that, what you find—what they quickly discover is they can’t obey. And it suddenly dawns on them over time, they come to this understanding: “I actually am trying to be good. I’m trying to obey and I’m failing. What is my problem? I don’t want another spanking. And yet, it’s like it went in one ear and right out the other.”

Do you see what’s going on? The law is our tutor to what? Galatians says to point us to where? To Christ.

Your rules in your home will not make righteous the heart of your children. Don’t think it will. They are reprobate little sinners. No, seriously, they are. They are dead in trespasses and sins.

So we are called to exercise God’s authority and to put guidelines and barriers in their life to do what? To show them that they’re sinners. And then we’re pointing them to Christ as the only answer for their sinful heart.

I had one of my children crying. It was one of those times where we’re in the bedroom and we’re having our discussion and I was saying: “You know, Daddy loves you very much and Daddy does not want to spank you. I hate spanking you. But Daddy’s under authority. And God told me that if you disobey, what am I supposed to do?”

“You’re supposed to spank me.”

“Should Daddy disobey God or obey God?”

“Should obey God.”

“So what should I do then?”

“You have to spank me.”

“But Daddy, I can’t be good. I’ve tried and I can’t do it.”

“Exactly. Exactly. That’s the point. You need Jesus.”

Do you see it?

Biblical Parenting Does Not Involve Anger

Let me throw this one in. I could make this a whole lesson, but I want to mention it. Biblical parenting demands clear objectives. Number two, demands humility. Number three, biblical parenting does not involve anger. Does not involve anger.

Does anger have a legitimate place in correction and discipline? Galatians 5:19 says that anger and fits of rage are a demonstration of the works of the flesh. Anger is a form of manipulation, and when we parent with anger, the child learns to fear man, not fear God.

And Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted.”

And James tells us that anger never produces righteousness in the heart. Any change in the behavior of the child due to a parent’s anger moves your child away from God, not towards God. Did you hear me?

Listen to James: “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”

If you are a parent who disciplines and anger is your tool, you are taking that child’s heart away from God, not towards God.

Correction is not showing your anger for their offenses, it’s reminding them that their sinful behavior offends God. “And yes, I’m heartbroken too, son. I’m heartbroken too. But way more than me. Your action towards your sister offended God. God is heartbroken.

“Jesus, do you know that Jesus was nailed to the cross and had a spear shoved up in his side, and thorns smashed into his brow, and he died a painful death? Do you want to know why? Because of that lie you just told me. Your lie killed Jesus.

“I’m not pleased, but you’ve offended God.”

Do you see the discipleship that’s going on there?

Discipline Is Corrective, Not Punishment

Biblical parenting is a benefit to the child. Discipline is corrective, it’s not punishment. If corrections center around the parent who has been offended, then the focus will be venting anger or taking vengeance.

When the correction focuses on God as being the one offended, the focus on correction is always restoration. Did you hear the difference?

If I’m the one offended, then I’m venting my anger and taking vengeance on the child. “I’m gonna punish you.” That’s not discipline. Discipline is restorative. It’s not punishment.

You punish criminals. You don’t punish children. You discipline children. You punish criminals. It’s restorative.

You see, discipline is an expression of love. “For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12). “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24). Proverbs 19:18: “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.”

Wow, that’s graphic.

Discipleship Through Life Stages

Now, drawing it to a conclusion here. Discipleship through life stages. There are basically four stages in the life development of a child.

Stage 1: The Discipline Stage (Ages 1-5)

Number one is the discipline stage. This is ages one through five, approximately. And in that stage, you are doing one thing as a parent—you’re establishing the right to rule in the mind of your child. That’s all you’re doing.

Doesn’t matter if they know their name, doesn’t matter if they know their colors, doesn’t matter if they can write their name, doesn’t matter if they can read anything—none of that matters. “Oh no, I gotta get my child into school, he’s only a year and a half, but I want him to have every advantage.”

Nothing wrong with that, but you’re missing it. You’re really missing it if you think that’s what’s gonna make your child successful. From one to five, there’s one thing you’re trying to do, and that’s establish who’s in charge.

And you’re authoritative, and you set tight boundaries. And discipleship in this stage involves submitting to the authority of God. You’re teaching “Jesus is Lord” through the obedience to their parents. You’re teaching them that Jesus is Lord by demanding their obedience.

Stage 2: The Training Years (Ages 6-12)

Number two is the training years. That’s ages six through 12. Training. This is drills and exercises. You can stop and make corrective changes. You explain reasons. You show them what to do and how to do it. And at each step of the way, the parent has an opportunity to point the child to God and to his power.

At this stage, from six to 12, primarily, you’re connecting God’s commands to God’s character and his love in the mind of the child. You’re connecting God’s commands with his character and his love in the mind of the child.

Stage 3: The Coaching Years (Ages 13-19)

Number three, this is the coaching years. This is 13 to 19. 13 to 19, you’re on the sidelines calling in the plays. You’re like a coach. You have time for instruction during timeouts, but you can’t stop the game. They’re moving forward by themselves. And you as a parent want to have a relationship where the teen values your perspective and hears your voice.

At this stage, here’s what discipleship looks like: Engaging worldview questions and working for personal ownership of their faith and walk with God. That they own it.

Stage 4: Friendship

And here’s the fourth. This is our goal, parents. Friendship. That’s the goal. Friendship.

Your discipleship relationship with your child enters a new season, culminating in a deep friendship. The process which began from years one through five with tight boundaries, resulting in responsible behavior, and from that, freedom.

And the discipleship piece here is mutual encouragement as brothers and sisters in Christ to follow Jesus. They’re my friend. They’re speaking into my life. They’re helping me become more like Jesus. And I tell you, it’s a joy.

Conclusion

So in conclusion, our correction rescues our children from danger and points them to Christ as their ultimate authority and Savior. Remember, every moment of parental authority is a discipleship opportunity. Every act of correction is a chance to point your child to the gospel.

You’re not just raising children, you’re raising worshipers of Jesus.

The question isn’t whether you’ll influence your child’s spiritual development. You will. The question is, will you do it intentionally for God’s glory or accidentally for your own convenience?

So you might say, “Well, Pastor Phil, where do I start? Where do I go? What do I do?”

Begin with your own relationship with God. If you didn’t start family devotions after the last one we did, start family devotions. And the next time that you correct your child, point to God’s standard, not just your own frustration. Talk to him about God, how disappointed God is, instead of just how disappointed you are. And then pray with your child daily.

You might be saying, “Well, Pastor Phil, what if I’m not spiritual enough?” God doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called. And he called you to be their parent. He called you to be their discipler.

Listen, your child needs to see your authentic faith, not a perfect parent, because you’re not perfect, but he needs to see you’re real. You’re a real lover of Jesus.

You might be here and you say, “But Pastor, I’m a single parent.” You can absolutely disciple effectively. I am a product of a single mom who is a disciple maker. Lean on your church family for support, right?

“Well, what about the school they go to and what about the church?” Listen, those are your partners. They’re not your replacements. Don’t ever tell your child, “I’m gonna tell your teacher,” as though the teacher is the authority. You’re the authority.

You remain the primary influence for their discipleship because God gave those children to your household.

May God strengthen us, amen? May God help us that we make our homes a place of discipleship and raising up little worshipers of Jesus. Amen.