Connection Group: Living in Gospel Community Requires Confrontation

The connection group discussion this week: Confronting Others For Change. Our Person Study is Peter:

Definition of Confront – to rebuke, correct.

Prov. 6:23, Titus 2:11-12,15, Prov. 3:11-12

First Confrontation in Scripture

In the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:9,11,13)

1. What was God’s purpose in confronting Adam & Eve?

Answer – To cause them to expose their sin, and establish the truth.

2. What are common responses when sin is exposed?

Answer – Deny, Deflect, Destroy (attack), Discouraged, other? We try to avoid the consequences of our bad decisions.

Why should we confront?

  1. Because the truth of the gospel is at stake. Motivated by truth! The issue is the truth of the gospel!
  2. Because the glory of God is at stake.

When should we confront?

  1. When someone is in danger of hurting themselves or others. – this is not bringing glory to God or reflecting the character and nature of Christ. (Prov. 24:11-12)
  2. When relationships are being threatened by damaging words or actions (Prov. 4:2-3)
  3. When divisions exist between one another in the family of God. (Ro. 14:19)
  4. When someone sins against you. (Mt. 18:15) – When someone does something that clearly violates God’s will in regard to how you are to be treated.

Steps for biblical confrontation

  1. Christians are to evidence the fruit of the Spirit – Self-Control. (Gal. 5;13). The spiritual ability to hold a tight grip on yourself – your desires and habitual responses.
  2. The Mt. 18.15-17 Model: 1/1 > 1/2 > Church [Leaders / Body] > World
  3. Most problems are resolved by going 1/1 to confront the other person
    • Commanded: Whenever an unreconciled condition exists between two believers.
    • The offended brother/sister: The responsibility is on the one that feels offended. (Mt. 5:23-24)
    • Go: The offended brother goes so that the offense does not grow larger.
    • Speak with the brother/sister: The rebuke is tentative, in a spirit of humility (Lk. 17:3). The attitude is restraint and reaching out. “As far as I see it you have wronged me in such-and-such a way, but if you have an explanation, I am ready to hear it before passing final judgment.”  If you do not have good facts to back up the accusation you should not take offense in the first place.
    • Privately, To convict him of his sin: No one else should be brought into the picture if it is possible to bring about reconciliation without them. In every step, the discussion is to be kept as narrow as the offense.
    • RESULT: Reconciliation is the result. He/she listens to you, and you have gained the heart, fellowship of your brother/sister.

How can we confront?

  1. Confront with a question – (Mt. 14:31) Peter why did you doubt?
  2. Confront with a story (parable) (Lk. 20:9-19)
  3. Confront with a true-story (2 Sam. 12:1-15)
  4. Confront with an admonition (Jn. 8:1-11)
  5. Confront with rebuke (Mt 16:21-23) – Peter, Get behind me Satan.
    • It requires that direct confrontation is fueled by love. (Eph. 4:15)
    • It requires that direct confrontation be balanced with great patience and careful instruction in order to bring about change. (2 Tim. 4:2)


In a gospel-centered community, we must care for one another and for God enough to confront when needed.
For the sake of the gospel and the glory of God, we need to be willing to confront others.


  1. Sin is often the problem – cause.
  2. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of others – we expect perfection from others so that they get discouraged.
  3. We often don’t confront biblically because of fear – this is DISOBEDIENCE.
  4. Avoiding biblical confrontation shows a lack of faith, and ultimately is a tool of Satan to cause division.
  5. What cultural barriers are in place that hinders biblical confrontation:
  6. How do you confront an elder? (1 Tim. 5:1-2)
    • • You must go to them
    • • You must entreat them as a father/mother
  7. Do you have to go to others over every little offense? NO, love covers a multitude of sins (Pr. 10:12), however, an unreconciled state must be dealt with.
  8. If the is your brother/sister commits is harming him/her you may need to deal with it for his/her sake (Gal. 6:1-2).