Finding True Love In Marriage

February is famous for two reasons – it is the month with the fewest days on the calendar and it is the month we celebrate Valentine’s Day!  One goal at Kitwe Church is to help husbands and wives experience a healthy growing marriage relationship.  A marriage relationship founded upon Jesus Christ can experience genuine love.

Every one is born with the desire to love and be loved. It is God’s design that within marriage the purest form of love will be exhibited and enjoyed. This is ‘Agape’, the love of choice. This love is the desire for and the delight in the well-being of the one loved, that leads to self-sacrificing efforts on their behalf.

Infantile love follows the principle, “I love because I am loved.”  Mature love follows the principle, “I am loved because I love.”  Immature love says, “ I love you because I need you.” Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.”

Lets take a discerning look at genuine love!  If you have a Bible turn to in the New Testament to 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and look at verses 4-8.

  1. Love suffers long – It is slow to lose patience. It is not easily irritated, angry, or have a quick temper.
  2. Love is kind – It discovers successful methods of improving or contributing to the other’s life.
  3. Love does not envy – It is not jealous, overly possessive. Allows the other freedom. Love does not parade itself – It is not anxious to impress. It does not seek to make an impression or create an image for personal gain.
  4. Love is not puffed up – It is not self-centered. It has the ability to change and to accept change. It is flexible. It does not expect life to revolve around itself.
  5. Love does not behave rudely – It has good manners. It has respect for others which results in a set of Christ-centered standards.
  6. Love does not seek its own – It does not pursue selfish advantage over the other. Does not manipulate to get its own way.
  7. Love is not easily provoked – It is not touchy, it is not hypersensitive or easily hurt. Love thinks no evil – It does not keep account of past evil. It doesn’t review wrongs which have been forgiven.
  8. Love does not rejoice in iniquity – It doesn’t compare self with others for self-justification. It doesn’t say, “everyone’s doing it.”
  9. Love rejoices in the truth – It is glad with all godly men when truth prevails.
  10. Love bears all things – It knows no limit to its forbearance. It has the ability to live with the inconsistencies of others.
  11. Love believes all things – It knows no end to its trust. Love hopes all things – It has perfect confidence that God is responsible and in control of the actions of the partner.
  12. Love endures all things. – It has unlimited endurance. It is able to endure all obstacles and even love in the face of unreturned love.

The love described above is a kind of self-sacrificing love that does not come natural to us. In fact it is supernatural.  This is love that we can experience and manifest only through a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ.  Another writer in the Bible used this same word for love when he wrote, “God demonstrated His love toward us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom.5:8) Jesus Himself used this word when he said, “God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” (Jn.3:16) Experience God’s love by believing in Jesus.

So our goal this Valentines Day is NOT to attempt to discern the genuine love of our spouse, but rather to evaluate our own love. We are not commanded to make someone else love us, but we are commanded to love!

If you have questions or would like to discuss issues related to this blog post please email me at or call/text me on 0976153466.

Phil Hunt